March, 7th, 2012

Wednesday, March 7th 2012 started out like any other typical day for me. What I didn't know was that it would change my life and my direction of it. For personal reasons I would rather not get into right now, the thing that changed the most was my relationship with some family members and my relationship with God. The relation ship with God changed as I viewed to cut out all the crap and devite my life to him. My friends, I was falling in my walk with God and really needed Him to pick me up. I can blame alot of things for why I decided to back slide, but the truth is it was my own doing. If churches wanted to accuse me of stalking, or othe so called church friends (at least the church I was going to) wanted to turn their backs on me, it wasn't their fault it was mine and I take the blame for it. Walking with Christ, I'll admit has always been some what hard for me. I think to a degree it is for alot of people. But, I don't know, I have fallen so many times and acted like I wasn't even saved when it came to my attitude with some people. But, perhaps to a degree we are all like that. No one is perfect and we all fall short of the Glory Of God. One area of my walk and what really needed to change was reading my Bible. The Book is right by my beed in easy reach and chose to do something else. It wasn't right. I also think I was getting a little too involved with other matter's that quite frankly didn't need my help or opinion. Writing for me has always been something that I loved doing, and for the most part that hasn't changed. But I was consentrating more on writing than my walk with God. I have not gave up writing, I still I would like to think have plenty of ideas as far has screenplays go, but my walk with Jesus is far more important than any story I could imagine. So, for right now it is on hold. I think that is one of the problems with people and their wal with Jesus, we sometimes get to sidetracked to see what or how God wants to work. By the time we relise that we have been distracked and need to come back is when for some perpose or another we find our selfs in trouble. And when I write 'trouble I don't mean breaking the law or that I did on this day, but it is usallly when that happens that we say, "Oh, Jesus, how I need you again." So, as of March 7th, 2012, I have not tried writing another script and television, even though I do have my fave programs, those can go too. In fact I even called dish network and changed my channels. Another distraction. Now, I wouldn't say my life completley back on track, I still have other issues to work out, personally, but for the most part, my walk with Jesus is improving and I am so greatful for that.

The West Memphis Three

If you recall in my last entry I had made reference to three young men who made headline news for getting out of prison for murder. Murders they say they did not commit and proof to back it up.

Their names are Damien Echols, Jason Baldwin & Jesse Misskelly.

Known as the West Memphis Three.

In May of 1993 the body's of three eight year old cub scout were found brutally murdered in West Memphis Arkansas. About a month later, Damien, Jason and Jesse, young teenage boys at the time were arrested and charged with the crime. The police had very little to go on except a theory that the crime was done as a sacrifice to a cult.

Echols, Misskelly and Baldwin did not do it. Baldwin had a solid alibi for that evening. He was home with his mother and siblings, a fact that I am sure his mother tried to tell the police time and time again.


In June of 1993 Jesse Misskelly was questioned as to how he knew Echols and Baldwin and if he knew anything about the murder's. At the time he had said he knew nothing about it as to who did it and if he had anything to do with or if Baldwin or Echols had any involvement.

This interrogation was with done without an attorney present and without Miranda rights being read.

After hours of questioning, Misskelly who was diagnosed with mild retardation, finally said he had did it along with Echols and Baldwin. Not because he was guilty and wanted to clear his conscience, but to get these detectives off his back.

He had later recanted and during the trials of the three teens it was later stated as a false confession. Echols and Baldwin's trial didn't use the confession.

All three were tried and convicted. Misskelly and Baldwin getting life in prison without the possibilty of parole and Echols sentenced to death. Echols was supposedly the ring leader.

Case Closed? Thankfully no.

Documentary film maker's,Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofky were hired by HBO, a television cable company to do a film on what they thought, in their own words were kids gone wrong.


When Sinofsky and Berlinger got to Arkansas and had the chance to meet with everyone involved, including Damien, Jesse and Jason they soon realised that this was different. These young suspect were not monster's but were innocent.

Flash forward to 1996, three years after the murders and two years since the West Memphis Three were charged and found guilty, the documentary, "Paradise Lost: The Child murders At Robin Hills Estates" aired on HBO.

Immediately, speculation as to the three's guilt were called into question by hundreds of people, myself included.

It is very safe to say, or actually there is no other way to say this but had it not have been for the documentarys these three young men would still be in prison and one of them possibly would have been excuted.

"Paradise" opened the eyes of many people who questioned the verdicts, investigated the case and donated hours upon hours of time and money to get these young free.

It took alot of time, 18 years to be exact, but now these men are free but not exactly cleared.

Now with DNA evidence to back up their claim of innocence , the three are not only searching for who ever might have done this crime, but also looking to clear their names and be exonerated.

That is something I personally have never been able to comprehend. You have people who are tried and convicted for crime they did not do and it leaves the actual perpetrator to get away with murder.

Coward.

When I first saw the 'Paradise' documentary in 1996 I remember thinking two things, one, this case had alot of holes in it and two it seemed like all the West Memphis police department wanted to do was get the people involved and let it go.

I am not in Law enforcement and I am not a Lawyer, but it is safe to say you have to do your job and not just find the first person and think ok, I am satisfied.

I would like to say I am leaving out alot, there is alot more I could write about this, but for the moment I choose not too.

Another thing I remember about the film was at the end thinking to myself, well, if and only if they did it than they got what they deserved, if they did not do it, in time it will be proven and these young men can get their lives back.

Once again, had it not have been for Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky for making the films, there are 3 total, (Paradise Lost2:Revaltions and the most recent, Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory which has been nominated for an accedemy award for best documentary) who is to say what would have happened.

Would Echols, Baldwin & Misskelly some how proven their innocence on their own?

Perhaps. Anything is possible

or would they have rotted in prison for the rest of their lives?

Who knows.

But one thing can be said, well alot of things can be said, but to be brief, Berlinger and Sinofsky are life saver's in the minds of alot of people, including mine.


I don't get behind, or support too many cases that involve murder. I tried to once, but I couldn't because my conscience was telling me not to.

If someone kills someone in cold blood and there is a group of people that support the person or person;s that their thing, but for me personally, I couldn't.

I wrote about it in 2010 in an entry entitled 'Are you for or against it' where for the most part I was referring to protesting.

I'll close with this, the west memphis three did not commit the crime they were accused of and to a degree the state of Arkansas agrees. (They took a rare legal move known as an alford plea to be set free and to claim their innocence but at the same time saying they were guilty)

but all that aside, there would have been many lives left alone, the family's of Echols, Misskelly and Baldwin and most importantly the family's of the murdered victims had the real perpetrator either came forward or was caught at the time instead of thinking he or she could get away with murder when the west memphis three were convicted.

You're a coward whoever you are and where ever you are you need to be brought to justice.

I'll write again it, many lives could have been spared if this person or persons were found.

Hell, I'll go one further and say many innocent lives would have been spared had this tragedy never happened at all.

The Court Of Public Opinion

Note: Before I begin writing I would like to make one thing clear. The cases I am mentioning I did not follow. One of them, I had heard about from a 3 part documentary and the other's were highly talked about in the media. This is just my opinion I am not trying to lay either guilt or innocence. Hopefully you will see the point of this blog after you read it.

Read On.

This past Monday evening I had watched the third part of a documentary series on television. It was entitled Paradise Lost. it was about three young men who in 1994 were convicted of murdering three young preteen boys in the state of Arkansas. Very brutal crime to say the least. I saw the first one and half of the second, but the third one was the one that made me think.


The three men, known as the 'West Memphis Three' were just teenager's when this happened, they were all found guilty and sentenced to life in prison. Flash forward eighteen years later, the three men are being released from prison due to DNA testing which proved they didn't do the crime. There is alot more to the story, but I am on a schedule.

When I first saw this documentary, the first part was released in either 1995 or 1996, and saw the proceedings as these teens were being convicted, I thought to myself,"well, they deserved it. It was a brutal thing and they didn't seem to show any remorse for it, they got what they deserved." One of the teens when asked before the his verdict was read, if he was found not guilty what was he going to do. The young man said he was going to get drunk. Not the kind of thing you want to be thinking when you're being tried for murder. Not that I would know, but, it's a guess. I didn't know the whole story, nor at the time did I care to. Like I said, there was much more to come of this case.


But that's it, isn't it?. We as a nation when we hear about a crime that has made the national news we tend to think they're guilty right off the bat. Even when they for what ever the reason are found innocent of the crimes they are being tried for, we still think, well they may have gotten off, but, they're still guilty.

Micheal Jackson, O.J Simpson and Casey Anthony. All of them had national attention drawn to their trials and all of them were found not guilty buy their respective jury's.

Why? Good question.

I don't have the answer. I was not on either jury.

I don't really know if it is a good thing or a bad thing to feel that way about something like that. Like I wrote earlier, I didn't follow the west memphis three case and I didn't follow the other three cases I just mentioned

All though it was hard not to notice with three of them.

Should Anthony, Jackson and Simpson have been found guilty? Maybe. Or was it that they at least in the case of Anthony and Simpson were the first people noticed so all the clues point to them.

Who knows?

In the eyes of some, regardless of proof of innocence at their respective trials they are guilty.

I am not trying to argue with anyone over this. I some times feel the same way.

Jackson for instance, it doesn't matter what your name is or how much money you have one thing you simply do not do is take young children into your bed and think the public when they get wind of it is going to be ok with it, because they were not. A lot of people and for good reasons felt that what Jackson did was odd and they started to question why a man would do something like that.

Love Micheal Jackson or not, the situation with the sleepover with young boys was a no-no and Jackson only had himself to blame.

Yeah, I wrote it.

But, regardless, in his trial, he was found not guilty.

I'll write it again. It is easy to watch a court trial and not think that the person would be found guilty. Most often than not, they are and deserve what ever comes their way, other's like the Arkansas case where it seems they were innocent, it took years to prove it.

Not that it has been proven yet. If you decide you want to know more go to any search engine and type in 'west memphis three'

I think the point I am trying to make is this: Every one likes to point fingers and just say or even think, well they got the person, that's good enough for me. Even if they are not, we still point fingers.

Is it wrong or is it right? I would have to say it depends. Three out of the four cases I have have been writing about murder was involved. Two of them having to do with children. Murder of any kind is wrong, but it just seems that when its a child it becomes more personal. I can see why. Whether a jury of your peers finds them innocent or whether they have to prove it decades later, the fact remains they're are still going to be people that think and perhaps even say that in their eyes you're still guilty.

Good or bad, right or wrong with Memphis,Simpson and Anthony, people are dead. And if they didn't do it than who did and will they ever be caught and brought to justice?

Siblings Part Two

Over the summer I was watching a television show where a guy met his younger brother for the very first time in their lives. I don't know the whole story so I am not going to make things up as I go along, but I can tell you is this. The father of both these two men tried, as I found out while watching the show to get in contact with the other son. The son wanted nothing to do with him, or so I gathered from what I saw. In turn, the father must have told his other children about this man, his career, etc.

When the two brother did finally meet I got the impression from watching the tv show that they got along well and that it seemed they known each other all their lives.

But that's television and It's usally not how it goes. It might be safe to say that even the two brothers communicate with each other they still have alot to go before they can say, 'yeah, were good'

After I had seen this show I started thinking about the relationship I have with my siblings. Don't get me wrong, I love them and I am sure in return they feel the same way about me. Even though it can be rocky at times, I am a part of their lives, they will always be a part of mine. And I love that fact.

But what I got to thinking about was my father who I was never close to and didn't have the chance of meeting.

It could be possible that I might have brother's and sisters I never knew about. I can't prove this, but I wouldn't doubt it

Here is the thing about it. I don't think I want to know. Yeah, it may sound rude and a little heart less but thats how I feel. If I can, let me explain.

Like I said, I have five younger siblings, three brothers and two sisters who I love and respect dearly. I am content with having what I have and knowing what I know.

Having other siblings wouldn't change anything.

If anything it would be awkward. Especially that first meeting.

I am going to give two hypothetical reasons. One, let's say I do search for these people and I find out that during the course of my fathers life he made money. And I do mean money, which would leave his children rich. Perhaps they might think the only reason I searched for them was to get some of that money. Some may feel it's owed to me, others might feel I should just leave it alone.

I would leave it alone. Once again, I can not prove these people exist and what I am writing is just a theory.

But it could be a possible scenario.

Another scenario would be that they are the most insane people on earth and even Jerry Springer would have to say they're bizare and would never be on his show.

If that was the case, the five siblings that I have I would appreciate even more than what I do already.

Other people may not feel the same I do,If you have other siblings and can prove it, I am not saying you shouldn't look into it, that choice is yours.

To each his own I guess it would be safe to say.

In closing I will leave with these two things:

If you recall in a previous blog entry I wrote sometime last year I made refernce to both my father and my grandfather. I had wrote that I felt I didn't need to look for a father figure because I had one and it wasn't going to get any better than what it was with my grandpa.

I feel the same way about my brother and sisters. Do we have arguements? You bet. Do we some times say hurtful things that we sometimes mean or don't mean to say? Absolutely. We are not perfect by any stretch. But, what we do have is we get along, we let by gones be by gones. Some things are tough and we may not speak to one another for a period of time, but we come around.

I wouldn't want it any other way.

In the Book of Genesis the story of Joesph and his brothers. His older brothers sold him into slavery, years later when Joesph became a ruler over his land they saw each other again and he forgave them because he knew this was Gods plan.

You deal with the cards you have been delt with.

Once again, I can not prove that my father had other children, and I don't want to. They would have to make the first move.

I'm not going to hold my breath and wait for that moment to arrive.

Forgivness. It's Good Thing.

I have to get something off my chest, I have a facebook friend who I used to go to school with back in the '80's. Some how between then and now we lost contact with one another. It was only recently within the last year, year in a half maybe that we found each other again and it's good.
but here's the thing, when my facebook friend and I were in school I was angry at him. It's not important why, but I remember being so resentful over something he had done that I felt if I never saw him again it would be too soon.

Flash forward to late 2009 possibly early 2010 and said person and I are friends. I have not seen him face to face yet because we both live in different states, but if the oppertunity ever did present it self, I would be up for seeing him again. The question is though, who would have thought that after 20 plus years that this guy who I thought I destested, would become a friend again?

Answer: God

We all have, and I think we have to admit this people that we need to forgive, whether it's something that you said or something that you did.

And vice versa

Why do we forgive one, because God cammands and second you do feel better once it's done.

When I was a child I had met some people that I found were not the most friendly people on the planet. I found out when they did something I didn't like. It took me almost 17 years to forgive them. I remember It wasn't easy, but I am happy that I did it and I do feel better about my self and I think I feel I am even a stronger Christian for forgiving the person.


Forgivness can be hard at times. A friend or even a parent can be so creul that it haunts you and you can't bring yourself to do it.

Been there.

But, once again, it wasn't easy, but thank's to the Grace of God and His love that I was able to do it.

Now, don't get me wrong, there are shall I say sensitive issues of why a person doesn't want or simply can't forgive who ever they need to. I feel that's valid. Life can be tough. Or is tough.

I can't speak for these people nor will I try to, they have their reasons and it's between them and the God they serve.

I just pray it's the same God I serve and one day He will make them see how powerful forgiving someone can be.

I will conclude with two things: One, and mind you I didn't always have this point of view, it took a long time to get here, but, here goes.

With my facebook friend, I can recall what he did and just how bad I thought it was, but if Jesus Christ can be on a Cross with nails in his hands and feet and still have the courage to say " Father, forgive them for they know not what they do" why can't I do the same thing for something considerbly less than that?

Once again, forgivness isn't always easy, sometimes it can be that hardest thing you'll ever do, but once it's done, you'll feel a 1000% better.

And, Mike, if you read this, doesn't matter what it was, it's water under the bridge and I am Glad God worked it out. I hope we remain friends.

The Magic Kingdom A.K.A. Disneyland

It is Saturday, October, 29, 2011, I have just woken up and the first thing I notice is the sun coming through the bottom of the curtains in my hotel room. I lay in bed for awhile as just about everyone does when they first wake up. As I am now out of bed I go over to the curtains by the door to my hotel room and open them to take in the morning sun as it shines over Anaheim, California. I smile, take a look to the ceiling of my room and I smile and say Thank You God. Last night I went to Disneyland for the first time in 13 years.

And I had a blast.

Yesterday, friday, October, 28 was a stressful one. I arrived in Anaheim, later than I wanted to, and got lost trying to find my hotel. After about a half hour of driving around both the property of Disneyland and it's sister park California Adventure, I finally find the hotel.

At about three in the afternoon I finally arrive in Disneyland it self and meet up with friends who I had not seen in quite some time.

My stress is about to end and fun is about to be had. And it's long over due.


Disneyland theme park and it's 11 year old neighbor California Adventure is a must for anybody. During the creation and building of the the park in the mid 1950's Walt Disney said he wanted the place to be fun for both children and adults. Some adults probably would not admit to this, but they have just as much fun as their children do, if they have any.

Like I just wrote a paragraph or two ago, I had been looking forward to this for along time and my friends and I, one of them who in a few days would be celebrating a birthday pointed out a new attraction, well, not that new, but the way they re modeld it, it was worth getting the fast pass for.

During the course of the day, more for my benefit as I reflect on it, I had never been to the newer park California Adventure and my friend, Brant pointed things out to me and that I would have possibly overlooked on my own.

Two interesting things happend last night that are still fresh in my mind. To this hour at 8:50am not even 24 hours removed from last night, I look back and I smile, because what I am about to tell you isn't something that adults, or at least myself and my three other friends who are in their mid 30's and 50's respectfully.

We're in line for a California Adventure attraction and as we chat about various adult topics, our conversation drifts to chatting about a Disney animated cartoon called Phineas and Ferb and if we had seen newer episodes. Now That I think of it, I get the impression that one of my friends a woman named Sandra had never see the show before so Brant and our other friend named Don start telling her about the show and certain episodes.

As I look behind, actually I recall leaning back on a rail and resting on it, I notice this woman with her child. While still paying attention to the conversation of Don, Sandra & Brant, I start, for reasons I don't know, but I start to think about what this woman behind me must be thinking. Some times as you stand in line for any thing, you can't help but over hear some of the conversations that go on. This woman could have been thinking one of two things: One, that the four of us, all adults must have been out of our minds for talking about a children's animated television show, or 2: that it was cool that we were in a Disney theme park and here we are talking about a Disney show.

You would have to ask the lady what she really was thinking.

I would strongly suggest anyone who lives in another country if you ever plan a trip to America ( there are also Disney parks in both Paris, France and Tokyo, Japan), but, I my reader's can only talk about the Disneyland I have been to.

You would have a blast simular to the ones my friends and I are having.

Disneyland and it's sister theme parks have always been known for their innovations. Seems like every time a person goes to the parks they notice something they hadn't noticed on previous visit's. Since I had not been to Disneyland, now to s degree called Disneyland resort in 13 years and this was my first time to California Adventure, if you will recall I had told you about my friend Brant who was pointing things out to me. One thing God Bless him that he tried to explain and he strongly suggested we go and check it out was thing thing dedicated to The Disney Film Toy Story.

Brant, I know I told you this last night, but if you're reading this right now, explanation doesn't begin to describe it. You have to see this for yourself to get the full effect of it, but I will try to tell you about it.

We're in Hollywood Backlot, just like Disneyland with it's themed area's, I am finding California Adventure is no different, so in we're in the backlot at an animation studio and enclosed in glass is thing with dolls of Toy Story character's. My friend Brant had one word for me:

"Watch"

What I saw, made my jaw drop. These Toy Story dolls were spinning around at an Only God Knows speed and they were moving!!!

Or at least it gave you the illusion they were moving. my friend Don is standing right besides me and I said to him 'so thats how they did it'? He said no, "Story" was done with computer's, but it made think about stop motion animation and films like ' The Nightmare Before Christmas' and other's like it that were stop motion animation and done with dolls. This thing spinning around could very well be how they did it.


The parks have closed and the four of us, Don, Brant and Sandra and my self are heading back to our cars, Don, who lives not far from the resort and Sandra who lives in a neighboring California county and Brant who resides in Texas but is staying with Sandra for the weekend, we are , well, we're tired. I can see it on Don's face, he was ready for some sleep and my self, I had been up for over 24 hours and my feet were really starting to give me some pain, walking around two amusement parks was fun, because all of us had a blast, but, all that walking can make you tired.

But It's worth it. I'd do it again.

But for right now, as I stand looking out my hotel window at a tall California Adventure attraction, my feet are still giving me issues. Think I'll close the curtains and lay down for a bit.

As The sign entering Disneyland park read.... Let the memories begin.

I remember it like it was yesterday


P.S: Fast forward almost a month later. I am now back home and writing this entry on an early Thanksgiving morning.

Obviously, the memories of October, 28, 2011 is still fresh in my mind.

I hope it stays for awhile.

Payback.... It's A......Well, You Know

Recently I saw a television show involving two teens that had a vendetta against each other. One teen did something to the other and instead of paying for it he got off free thanks to his uncle. The other teen who had the damage done to him wanted retribution, found a gun and was going to shoot him. Now, granted this was television, but the unfortunate part is that it also happens in real life.

Whoever has the gun has the power, or so they think.

When we as humans have a situation like that the first thing or at least one of the first things we think about is payback. How do I get even with the person who did whatever?

You can, but what does it solve?

Jesus talked about forgivness in every sense of the word. Even when on the Cross he asked God to forgive the Romans/ jews. etc for the crucifixion.


What can a person what ever the argument get out of paypack? The satisfaction of knowing that you just like your so called enemy got the so called best of you. That you are just going to lie down and take it and expect them to do the same?

That doesn't solve anything. It only makes the situation worse.

But, that's the world we live in.

there are people that think you're getting out of line and it's their job to put you back in it.

Again, wrong approch.

Because:
Number one: Who is to say that anyone is out of line?

and

two: Who told you or the person beating you that it's their job to put you back in line


Here is the problem:

Doesn't matter if you or anyone else is out of line, no one should think their big enough to put you back in it, because than you get angry, the person who fought you gloats about it and you are left to wonder how you can get back at them.


In the 1993 motion picture 'Dazed And Confused' (written & directed by Richard Linklater) a sub plot of the film had to do with high school senior's hazing the in coming freshmen. One particular character, played by Ben Affleck takes it a bit too far leaving some freshmen to retaliate by dumping paint on him.

Good move or a bad move?

Maybe for a movie, but in real life, you better start running cause it might get ugly

Point is it doesn't have to.

The solution is simple to talk about but much harder to do

Be a Godly Man.

Don't concern yourself with getting even, because in time justice to a degree will be served.

perhaps in a court of law depending on the situation or just by the course of life itself.


Let Go and let God to do the healing and whatever payback for lack of a better term needs to be done.


Just remember these words:

God is in control of your life. He will lead you to where He wants you to be.

And for those who think you're out of line, just be something they will never be...........

A man of God